How do you write a blog?

According to Wikipedia, "a blog (an abridgment of the term web log) is a website, usually maintained by an individual, with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video." Oh, right.

That's all very well, but how do you write one? What could possibly be going on in my exceptionally dull and ordinary life that you could possibly have any interest in? Of course, the answer to that question is "nothing." I'm not interested in your life, so why should you be interested in mine? So, I probably shouldn't write about myself, then. Write about what you know, or so they say. Well, I know about misery and failure and loneliness, but who the hell wants to read about that? I've got an 'O' level in English, but nothing much else, so I know how to write but don't know anything to write about.

This is all getting to be a bit of a washout, isn't it? Still, I did at least have the foresight to entitle this blog Sharky's Pointless Musings" (I'm Sharky, by the way) and so I suppose I did get something right.

Sharky isn't my real name, it's a nickname I acquired when I was a lorry driver for an important local cabbage distribution firm. To be honest, I had other nicknames too (Pork Pie, Fatty, Bastard), but I liked Sharky the best and stuck with it. Nobody I know calls me Sharky, so I don't even know why I have a nickname to start with.

See? I told you this'd be pointless.